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This week I really thought I might lose it (but then I didn't)
by Tara Shafer posted in Parenting Last week I set out to write about the mental load of motherhood. Initially, I intended to approach the topic through the lens of the thought-provoking article, "You...
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Our mortarboards are off to this hero special needs mom
by Tara Shafer posted in Parenting As mothers, when we launch our children into the world we may sometimes feel quite vulnerable. It can be hard to discover the ways to best engage a struggle. Finding...
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Yes, you will be happy again: One bereaved mom's message to others
by Tara Shafer posted in Parenting Last week I stumbled upon a beautiful Instagram post from my friend Lindsey Henke, founder of Pregnancy After Loss Support. The post contained her radiant children in...
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There is no closure for grief, and you wouldn't want it anyway
by Tara Shafer posted in Parenting There is comfort in remembering the dead. There is perhaps no greater tragedy than the loss of a child. Recently, I came across the story of Samuel (“Sam”) Cohn who...
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Here are the best and worst things to say to bereaved parents
by Tara Shafer posted in Parenting In the decade since my son was stillborn, I have had some time to reflect on the things people said to me in an effort to offer comfort. With the benefit of...
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How I learned to like breastfeeding without ever really loving it
by Tara Shafer posted in Parenting I had to learn to like breastfeeding. I never succeeded in learning to love it. That said, I nursed all of my kids for an extended length of time. I even nursed...
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Unpopular opinion: I loved every one of my c-sections
by Tara Shafer posted in Pregnancy I have had three c-sections. I have no regrets about them. There is no part of me that feels as though I missed out on birth. I believe absolutely that births by...
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How do I teach healthy eating when junk food is everywhere?
by Tara Shafer posted in Parenting At some point over the course of a long northeast winter, the doldrums set in. In my house we got a little lax from a dietary perspective. The sugar started creeping...
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Dirty little secret: Warts on kids are common and we need to deal
by Tara Shafer posted in Parenting Years ago, when my son was small, he got molluscum contagiosum. I have no idea where he got it. I am not generally skived out by much. We moms put ourselves in the...
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Remembering Charlie Gard as a baby, not a legal battle
by Tara Shafer posted in Parenting Charlie Gard, who became the subject of an international lightning rod legal case for the rights of parents to chart a course of treatment on behalf of their sick...
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Truth: I wasn't instantly happy to be pregnant again after loss
by Tara Shafer posted in Pregnancy This post is my friendly reminder that women who are pregnant again after loss need not feel joy right away. When I have asked my friends in the loss community about...
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3 loving reminders to expectant moms about birth plans
by Tara Shafer posted in Pregnancy The BabyCenter community has been weighing in on birth plans in a BabyCenter poll, and for each pollster who made a birth plan, there was one who didn't make one....
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Help! My babysitter is engaged and leaving me!
by Tara Shafer posted in Parenting Our babysitter is engaged. We are so happy for her. We are also a little adrift when we contemplate the coming vacuum on date night. When our beloved German shepherd...
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Here's why I hope my kids never have "best" friends
by Tara Shafer posted in Parenting Teaching children to form healthy friendships can be tricky. Watching children discover one another is one of the great pleasures of parenting. But this part of...
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Hurricane Harvey: How to help those who are rebuilding their lives
by Tara Shafer posted in Parenting As flood waters in Texas and Hurricane Harvey-affected areas begin to recede, the scope of the historic crisis is laid bare. The outpouring of resources, sympathy,...
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CMS: The most misunderstood childhood challenge you've never heard of
by Tara Shafer posted in Parenting One rainy afternoon one of my children's teachers called to bring my attention to an atypical classroom behavior. She said that my child would sometimes suddenly...
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My pediatrician told me to supplement with formula and I'm so glad I did
by Tara Shafer posted in Parenting When my first born was a newborn I supplemented my breast milk with formula. In hindsight, I firmly believe that this helped me to overcome my new mom fears about...
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I was terrified of being alone with my newborn, were you?
by Tara Shafer posted in Parenting When I came home from the hospital following the birth of my first child, I was overwhelmed with love and gratitude for the life I had (somehow, it seemed) been given...
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Blessing ways: An alternative to baby showers for rainbow mamas
by Tara Shafer posted in Pregnancy In the decade since I began to write on the subject, I have seen increasing transparency about pregnancy and infant loss. But there still remains a lack of agreed...
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We were pregnant together but she lost her baby -- does she hate me now?
by Tara Shafer posted in Pregnancy People ask me quite a bit about pregnancy envy. They are asking about the course of sadness (or even jealousy) when two women are expecting babies -- and one of these...
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All kids are superheroes when they trick-or-treat for UNICEF
by Tara Shafer posted in Parenting I remember the childlike thrills of Halloween so well, including the excitement of those orange UNICEF collection boxes. I have a distinct memory of the pride I took...
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How to support a new mom with her loss without making it all about you
by Tara Shafer posted in Pregnancy As a veteran bereaved mom, it is my greatest honor to help new-to-loss parents learn to cope. As a brilliant friend of mine once advised do not hoard the light you...
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Are we still friends if your kid friend-dumps my kid?
by Tara Shafer posted in Parenting One of my greatest parenting challenges has been establishing and maintaining friendships that are kid-to-kid and mom-to-mom at the same time. I have not done it...
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